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DRUNK ABOUT SOMETHING: Recap of Grant Amato's Deadly Obsession

Jendsey Season 1

What drives someone to destroy everything they love for a digital fantasy? The Grant Amato case provides a chilling answer.

After stumbling across the "Control Alt Desire" documentary, we couldn't wait to share our raw, unfiltered thoughts on this disturbing true crime story that perfectly illustrates how online obsession can turn deadly. Grant Amato, a 29-year-old nursing school dropout, murdered his entire family after stealing $200,000 from them in just six months – all to fund his addiction to a Bulgarian cam model who knew him only as "Deus Lights," his fabricated online persona.

Have you noticed warning signs of unhealthy online obsession in someone you know? Let us know your thoughts, and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss Friday's episode where we'll reveal the surprising connections to a recent case that's still developing.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Ready to explore more shocking true crime cases with us? Subscribe to Drink About Something for new episodes every Friday, and visit drinkaboutsomething.site with links to see all our content, including visual evidence from the cases we cover.

Speaker 1:

Hey, Jesse.

Speaker 2:

Hello Lindsay.

Speaker 1:

What are you having to drink right now?

Speaker 2:

Me yeah, jim Jones and Moonshine.

Speaker 1:

For our Jim Jones episode we did buy a box of Flavor Aid. I'm not going to put my name on that one, so now it is officially called the Jim Jones. And what did you say? Vodka.

Speaker 2:

Moonshine, moonshine. I made my own liquor Jim.

Speaker 1:

Jones and shine Jim Jones. And shine Jim, shine Jim, shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Well, this is our raw, unfiltered, uncut, unedited recap.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and we're fitting a fire off. We're fitting to do this. We are fixing to recap. Oh wait, a minute, wrong button. Hold on, I hit the wrong button. Oh, here it goes. I guess I'm not editing. Either way, it's party. Huh, editing either way, it's party. I mean, I'm really thinking. Maybe I had a little bit too much shine before we started shining already.

Speaker 1:

Well, this is called Drunk About Something Recap. So I'm drinking a Blackberry White Claw.

Speaker 2:

You are.

Speaker 1:

And so Jesse, recapping on Grant Amato. What did you think of that story?

Speaker 2:

Me myself and I really thought that that was some fucked up shit, lindsay.

Speaker 1:

Well, yes, it was, but elaborate. What were your other thoughts? Well, yes, it was, but elaborate. What were your other thoughts? So I did make Jesse watch the Control Alt Desire documentary. It's a three episode documentary. And what did you think about that, sir? I'm trying to get the gears rolling here.

Speaker 2:

I'm trying to get the gears rolling, get the gears rolling, heard Rolling, because I'm like I'm in Popcorn Sutton over here right now. I got my whole lacra going, my homemade lacra. No, that's the shine that you made, yeah, okay. So yeah, it is horribly a tragic story of somebody that feeds into a kid that never decided to fully grow up and accept his own responsibilities At all and then he took advantage of everybody else and didn't care who he's bringing down with it because of his addiction over a woman that just was doing her job, I guess.

Speaker 1:

Well see, I think it started with the fact that, okay so, grant nor Cody? Okay, they were very close, but they were two very different individuals. They were Grant nor Cody. Okay, they were very close, but they were two very different individuals.

Speaker 2:

They were. They were completely different individuals.

Speaker 1:

But Grant was very codependent and he needed Cody to keep him in the right direction and when that failed he split off. But I think it all started with okay. So in our house, when you turn 16, just like Jesse and I did you get a job which we had jobs younger than that, but it's not allowed anymore. But you get a job and that's when you learn to pay for your own cell phone bill and then you save money for a car. And then you save money for a car and and then at that point, like like two out of four of my boys have, you know, they got their jobs, they got their phones, they got their car car payment insurance, they pay for that. And then they also start buying their own food because they got that money in their hand and they want to go. They want to go get Taco Bell they're earning their way. They want to door dash a pizza at 11 o'clock.

Speaker 2:

On the way to the river today, I pointed out to a field and said I used to pick tobacco over there when I was 14.

Speaker 1:

And I started babysitting at 13. And my parents required me to buy my own little extra toiletries that I wanted for myself.

Speaker 2:

Like my bathroom, body works.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's when the addiction started. It was 13. Still going Almost 43.

Speaker 2:

Your addiction.

Speaker 1:

My addiction. Yes, it wasn't a cam model there. No, if I ain't got the money for it, I don't buy it. But I always have the money for it, so I always buy it.

Speaker 2:

So around that time I was starting to get addicted to music and I need guitars, I need to create a band, I want to play, I want to make music, but even younger than that, we started having them do chores in the house.

Speaker 1:

We started having them take out the trash, wash the dishes. They had a chore wheel. One would sweep the floors, one would load the dishwasher. My oldest, without even being prompted, would vacuum every single day.

Speaker 2:

That's the independence we're trying to teach our human beings in our house, and guess what?

Speaker 1:

Grant and Cody were not made to do those type of things.

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

Where Cody was a very responsible human being, grant was not. And you have to lay down a foundation of and I'm not saying because I still have a child that does not take responsibility and is but, for the most part, um we've done the best we could.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they're gonna be who they are.

Speaker 1:

You know that child would rather run away from home than wash a dish and that's what we dealt with in his teenage years.

Speaker 2:

Literally did that one time More than once. Literally left. I mean literally. We had Amber Alert over wash the dishes and clean up the house. Amber Alert like six hours later, like this kid's completely gone, trying to leave the county.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Wow Did leave the county. Over doing some home chores.

Speaker 1:

Yes, some home chores and because he had gotten in trouble at school that day. So I was like, okay, you better start cleaning up the house, like I was gone, like I was getting off work. I was going, I was. It was right before our youngest son's birthday. I was at the Dollar Tree getting some party supplies and I get a call that my second child has gotten in trouble in school. So I called him on my oldest phone and said hey, if you, if you want to try to redeem yourself from this trouble you've got into, you better start cleaning the house and I'll be home soon. Try to redeem yourself from this trouble you've got into. You better start cleaning the house and I'll be home soon.

Speaker 1:

He literally took off on my third child's bike and left the county. Yeah, the 17 mile Walk ride, yeah, yeah, like ditch the bike in the woods. I mean it was a whole thing, it was a mess. It was a mess and that was. That is how some kids are. But at the same time, for the rest of the family and even him, you know that was his reaction to responsibility and chores. But for the rest of them, it taught them responsibility. The others are not dependent on us for our money. They don't have access to our money. They help out in the house and even with a 20-year-old you still got to do a little reminder here and there. Hey, it's Wednesday, I got to take out the trash. It's Friday, you got to clean your bathroom. Reminder here and there. Hey, it's Wednesday, I got to take out the trash. You know it's Friday, you got to clean your bathroom. We have structure, you know it's good to have structure.

Speaker 1:

And we do the same shit every week.

Speaker 2:

So in reflection to the Amato family, it was just like there was no structure, everybody in the whole family. I think mommy had a lot to do with that. You know, I think the mom really had a lot to do with it and no victim blaming here, but we're not, because she was a victim and it's horrible, it really is horrible, very horrible.

Speaker 1:

And our analysis was and this dude has no remorse, I mean you watch the documentary.

Speaker 2:

He doesn't care he has no remorse. He needed help years ago, in his teens. You could tell.

Speaker 1:

You could tell this kid really needed him and I call him kid, he's 40 now probably right. Let's see, hold on. He was born in the 80s, so he's close to our age, yeah yeah, so, but like watching the, the, the documentary I think he's exactly your age. He was an 81 baby. Yeah, just he had this blah kind of persona and you can tell.

Speaker 2:

He's kind of in his head all the time and he's trying to be manipulative right in front of you. You can tell by his facial expressions how he's talking, his mannerisms, everything he was born in 89.

Speaker 1:

He's 36. 36, yeah, well, yeah, still close enough, I think, jody. Jody arias was your age, that's why that was right, she was well.

Speaker 2:

I mean yeah, but yeah, he had a. He has a 43 year old haircut. So I mean, I'm just saying he was he was balding in his 20s.

Speaker 1:

He was 29 when the tragedy happened and he was, his receding hairline was back here, back back here in. Yeah, we're not making fun of his genetics, whatever but still that sucks.

Speaker 2:

It sucks, but just his personality and everything was really just drawn back. Just had this blah attitude about his mannerisms and the way he talked. You could tell he was looking at you and trying to manipulate you right in front of you. You could tell it, though it was an easy call for me. Needed help, probably in his teens.

Speaker 1:

Well, like he even said it, and I mean he even said, you know, for 27 years he didn't get in trouble and he did the right thing. And then, when he first got kicked out of his nurse, nurse, ethnicist program, that was when it was a downward spiral.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Because he was cut off from what he literally calls his lifeline.

Speaker 2:

I think a mortician would have been better for him, because he had that kind of persona. You know, wouldn't it? Did you see mortician type persona?

Speaker 1:

Like he should have just locked himself in a basement, and then like you know, if he'd have had more? Of an upbeat personality like the twitching the game thing gaming thing might have worked.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because I mean you can see it there like, hey guys, how's it going right?

Speaker 2:

he's playing his video game and he's just talking like this monotone, just blah, you're not gonna get a lot of followers, sorry. And then latch on to a female in bulgaria, right, and just be like I'm completely infatuated and in love with you and I'm gonna spend every dollar that I can take and steal and whatever just to make you like me. That's basically what it was. So, yeah, using our own families, everything that's going on with us and our family in contrast to what everything was going on in their family. Right, it's two different worlds. I mean, we have structure and we're trying to make them be accountable.

Speaker 1:

And sometimes, like I said, it still doesn't work if that kid doesn't take that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and we know which ones to look out for. Right, we have a wayward kid too, so we know what to look out for and, as far as listeners go, also look out for that. We're trying to spread the common knowledge of just human nature, and some people just don't get off that nest the right way.

Speaker 1:

And it sucks because, especially when you I mean like we did every outlet that we could find in our town, in our County that would have some help. But like, even if I mean even Grant's family took him to therapy but he didn't participate. And I related to that because I've taken mine to therapy and they didn't participate, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, we also had, you know, like their biological father step in and kind of mess up some certain things that we had set up so many things and that cost us a lot of money. You know me and your relationship had a lot of strain on that yes.

Speaker 2:

You know, or strain because of it. And it's just, we're trying, we're doing the best we can, because we can't do anything else but physically emotionally do anything else, but physically emotionally we were just spent, you know, and we kept on striving for that greatness and that's all you can do as a parent.

Speaker 1:

And I just, I really just um, when you look at it as somebody who does not have a problem until they're 27, like what do you do, you know? What can you? I mean because because they're a grown ass person. And what was crazy was in the documentary like they say that he ran away, you know, after they got back from Japan. I'm like you don't run away when you're 27.

Speaker 2:

You just leave the house. Don't live at your house when you're 27.

Speaker 1:

Red flag there, I mean, but I mean Cody did and Cody was successful.

Speaker 2:

There was that he was stacking up money and they probably had their own space. That was a nice house, very nice house.

Speaker 1:

You could tell his parents worked very hard to afford.

Speaker 2:

I get that to an extent that's twice the size of what we live in. Yeah, I get that to an extent. If you have the means to and you want to keep your family close. That's fine, I understand that.

Speaker 1:

Well, what their goal was was they wanted to stay in that home after their parents moved to Tennessee.

Speaker 2:

That was their plan by that time he was already about $215,000 that he had stolen from his family.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, that was the plan before all that started.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yes, that was the plan. Like him and Cody had already planned on taking over that home.

Speaker 2:

I'm just saying when he ran away, the mortgage was Whenever he did the runaway thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, he was done.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, when he did the runaway he had done gang things, but I mean the mortgage on that home was probably pretty much paid off and you know Chad and Margaret had been paying for this house in Tennessee.

Speaker 2:

They're reaching for retirement.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, retirement, yeah, that was where they were going to move. Which was gone and Cody wanted to stay in Florida. Do their thing together.

Speaker 2:

And Grant messed all of that up. Yeah, he stole all the retirement I mean.

Speaker 1:

Chad had to remortgage the house.

Speaker 2:

And he started dabbling in his brother's money too, and he's just ruining everybody's life. And then took everybody's life. What?

Speaker 1:

Oh, and I did want to say so. It was my mistake. I said that the friend that had went with them on their trip to Japan's name was Oliver. His name was Jericho.

Speaker 2:

I did want to correct that.

Speaker 1:

Yes. So he stole from Margaret Chad, cody Jericho and Aunt Donna and Uncle Troy.

Speaker 2:

That's right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's right, and had taken out, you know, a 60 something thousand dollar loan against the mortgage?

Speaker 2:

What the fuck.

Speaker 1:

That's so much money just to give this girl who, by the way, they did find and talk to briefly.

Speaker 2:

She didn't want anything to do with it. You know she really didn't. She was like I don't want anything to do with it and she was just like done, and that was the way I would be. I wouldn't. I would be like I'm just trying to make money and do my job, like it really ruined her life too Well that's what she said.

Speaker 1:

She said you know, I mean, and that's you. So she said that it caused her a lot of stress, it caused her a lot of grief, it ruined her whole little thing there and she had to go to therapy. But my guess is probably all the other men in that community heard about because Grant did write them a letter Then they probably heard about what he did to his family and then that took away all of her community.

Speaker 2:

That was paying for her life. They all dipped out.

Speaker 1:

They all dipped out. Yeah, they were just like done, and it wasn't any fault of hers, you know what was really strange to me.

Speaker 2:

Like okay, she didn't really send her physical address, her full physical address, right but they're trying to search and find Sylvie over there in Bulgaria and she was like a project-looking type building they narrowed it down to a building.

Speaker 1:

Well, Sophie, where they lived, it's a huge metropolis. I mean Sophie was huge. You've seen the pictures.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was just stacked up huge buildings. But if you're making that much money, she should have had her a cool-ass villa.

Speaker 1:

I mean she got $200,000 from Grant alone.

Speaker 2:

Alone money. She should have had her a cool ass villa. You know, 200 grand from grant alone alone. And then there's a stack of dudes in there. If they're, if they're just shucking just a grand a piece, I mean she's, she's making some money. It's insane. I mean like I said she had.

Speaker 1:

I mean, like you saw in the documentary they show where there was like a little competition going where grant would be the highest, the highest tipper.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, and she'd play that game. That was her job, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

She was probably raking in $100,000 a week doing that.

Speaker 1:

Well you have. So I mean, yeah, because that 200 grand was in the six-month fucking period. Six-month period, that 200 grand.

Speaker 2:

I could not fathom that when we were actually doing the podcast on that, I couldn't even fathom that that was only see, I'm not. I'm thinking that this is years because of his age and all this stuff. No, six months, six fucking months, right two, about 260, 260 000 in six months ruined everybody's life and just murdered his fucking family.

Speaker 1:

It's insane, because they were like, no, you're gonna stop this and they you know. And then chad and and cody had it had emailed her and told her the truth. They're like deus lights is bullshit.

Speaker 2:

Grant is a a loser sitting at home in in the bedroom playing games all day and talking to you, the deus light fake persona that he had made. It wasn't him at all, but he felt good about himself. Hey, but guess what?

Speaker 1:

grant continued while he was in prison. Yeah, he found another online persona um that went by kitty correct. That was what.

Speaker 2:

Yeah he hooked up with her and then had this whole like she was on the documentary, but she was.

Speaker 1:

I mean they like hide her identity completely and she knew.

Speaker 2:

She knew it was fake, she, she knew that, like this is just him. You know we're gonna enjoy each other, we're gonna have our conversations, but this isn't real. But he was infatuated with her because?

Speaker 1:

because she did tell her parents that she was in a relationship with a man in jail from murdering his family, yeah, and they, because he said to the filmmaker um his name is hold on, real quick, that was doing yeah, archdeacon that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and he's doing in in jail calls with a burner phone or a butt phone, whatever got smuggled in Burner butt phone, his butt burning phone.

Speaker 1:

His butt burning phone. If you put a phone in your butt, it's going to be burning. Yeah, preparation H phone and then, he's doing like video calls, like different phones and it just kept popping in, so he has some pull in prison, and we are going to talk more about that in our episode on Friday. Yeah, I apologize. It is storming here in Florida. Well, it's coming like the thunder is rolling. It is, I love it and I want to take a nap.

Speaker 2:

Can I take a nap in the middle? Of the recap, napping to recap, come on, but like everything that he was doing just was still going. How do you, how do you? He's like, he's enabled, he's found a way. He's still found a way in prison after being tried, after serving three life sentences after his sentence he still latched back onto the same shit, and then women came to him. That's what I don't understand. How do women come to that drama and want to try to take that?

Speaker 1:

Were they trying to fix it, and we're going to talk about that in the episode on Friday. Oh yeah, yeah, that's going to be a topic, huge cliffhanger.

Speaker 2:

Huge cliffhanger. Lindsay left us with a huge cliffhanger, so you guys got to check that out and listen.

Speaker 1:

I'm telling y'all right now I had no idea about that cliffhanger. Like I said, I heard this case several years ago. It happened in 2019. I heard about it in about 2020, 2021. I had no idea. While I was researching that case to talk about that, that was going to pop up. I had no idea that I was going to be covering the person that I'm covering on Friday till last week.

Speaker 2:

I had zero. That was not on my agenda.

Speaker 1:

So as far as podcasts, it was not on my agenda at all.

Speaker 2:

I discovered that while researching Right, that's what I'm saying Like, as far as podcasters go and true crime and everything, we're fucking forefronting this one, I know, which is amazing, so check that out this Friday there's only one other podcaster that has any content on that one. Wow yeah, we're not leading it. No, no, no.

Speaker 1:

There's some YouTubers, but as far as like audio podcast goes, there's only one other person, but there is a lot of law and crime docs and coverage on what we're going to talk about on Friday.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's going to be so cool. I can't wait.

Speaker 1:

It is going to be a short one because it is recent, so there hasn't been a documentary about it. There hasn't been.

Speaker 2:

We can't drag up all the juice.

Speaker 1:

Right, we can't drag up all the juice just yet.

Speaker 2:

We're just gathering some moisture, yeah.

Speaker 1:

We're gathering the moisture and we're gathering the facts that are out there as of 2025.

Speaker 2:

So I feel like after we do this, when this Friday there's going to be some stuff later on, oh yeah, also.

Speaker 1:

We'll probably revisit in a couple years actually.

Speaker 2:

It takes couple years. Actually, it takes a couple years. We'll see yeah, we'll see what pops out on that one because this documentary about grant just came out in 24, so wow, yeah, 23 or 24 recent what I say recent reese's pieces. Reese's pieces recent. That's what I said. That's cool like I'm excited I'm so excited yes, yes, yes, lindsay, yes.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, okay, so that we're going to wrap up our recap so we can get started on our next episode.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And so this is Wednesday. Happy hump day.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

We love y'all. Please keep listening. Follow us. Lindsay Stambaugh Jesse Stambaugh. Follow us on Drink About Something. That site. Follow us Lindsay Stambaugh Jesse Stambaugh. Follow us on DrinkAboutSomethingsite. Keep listening, Send us messages, Give us feedback. We are definitely. We look forward to any positive or yeah, feedback positive or negative, Let us know we're still growing.

Speaker 2:

And check out the bands.

Speaker 1:

Goodness gracious, definitely. Check out the bands, follow all of them. Check out the bands.

Speaker 2:

Yes, make you a playlist. It's all about the bands.

Speaker 1:

It's all about the bands.

Speaker 2:

It's all about the bands and the nookie and the cam models, yes, and the stories and the Okay. It might be about the alcohol, okay, but either way. Either way, we'll see you guys this Friday.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Keep following.

Speaker 1:

Keep on rocking. Keep on rocking in a free world, and we love you so much. Bye.

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